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Five minutes passed since then. Where is the guy?
“Why isn’t he coming?” I asked the VJ. The VJ just stared at me in response.
“Call him,” I said.
“Oh, right.”
The VJ took out his phone and made a phone call.
“Hello? Yes. Yes. Ah. Right. Yes, yes. Okay. Thank you!”
And with that, the VJ hung up. He turned to me and said.
“He’s pooping.”
“Oh, really?”
Couldn’t he have gone in advance? Didn’t even think about the people waiting for them. If I’m like this only after five minutes…
“Should I go to the bathroom as well?”
“W-what…?” the VJ looked at me, a bit shocked.
“What?”
“You’re very straightforward…”
“….”
All I did was ask if I should go to the bathroom. Well, whatever. I decided to just wait. Ugh, I’m so hungry. I still didn’t know what the quest would be, but I needed to get some food.
After about 30 minutes? I was really pissed. What kind of bathroom break takes 30 minutes? Honestly, if this were any other day, I wouldn’t care. But I’m here, waiting for this guy. And on top of that, he takes 30 minutes to go to the bathroom? How could anyone be so rude?
“Ugh, seriously. Tell him to hurry up before I go there to shove it up his ass,” I spat out in fury. The audio director looked up in shock. And so did the VJ. What? Was this too straightforward as well?
“O-oh, right…hang on.”
The VJ made another phone call.
“Hello? Yes, hi…yes…yes…oh…that…well, I don’t know if that’s possible…he really should get here quickly…yes…oh…that’s…well, I’m not sure that’s…yes…yes….sigh…yes…okay, thank you.”
By the time the VJ hung up, he didn’t look too happy himself.
“What now?” I snapped. What? Could you blame me for being pissed at this point?
“Well…he wants to be sneaky…something about how it wouldn’t be so fun if he just came in all of a sudden…and whatever…and a whole bunch of other stuff…something about how he’s on a different level…”
“This bastard,” I unknowingly spat out. I wanted nothing more than to go find the guy and snap his legs off, but somehow, I managed to restrain myself.
“Call him and tell him to hurry the fuck up.”
“Oh…well…that…” The VJ could not help but hesitate. This is why balls are important.
“I guess you can’t.”
“Yeah…I just got cursed out over the phone…”
“Ugh.”
I sighed. Still, what else could the VJ do? It’s that Kyun guy. He’s the real issue.
“Um…but, Sian…”
“Yeah?”
“I had no idea you were this good at cursing…”
“Oh, sorry. I know it’s a little excessive, but can you really blame me?” I said with a sweet smile.
Honestly, this guy should be glad I’m not running off and planning bloody murder.
“Yeah…I guess.”
And that’s when it happened. Way off in the distance, I saw a guy in a black jacket and white T-shirt approaching us. The guy was walking slowly with both hands in his pocket, looking up at the sky. Was he the guy? Soon, he was standing in front of me and gave me a slight bow.
“Hello, Sian. I’m Kyun Park, the main vocalist from the popular group Cowboy. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh. Hi,” I said back with a slight bow of my own. We both stared at each other. This jerk. He had the most feminist looking face I’ve ever seen. The kind you’d just want to punch. Anyways, judging by the look on his face, he seemed to like me. He kept scanning me up and down with a pleased smile on his face.
“It’s really an honor to meet you,” the asshole said, sticking out his hand. I shook it. He immediately began to caress it.
“You have pretty hands.”
“We’re filming.”
“They’ll edit this out. Besides, I’m just holding it. I’m sure you’re happy that someone as good looking as me is holding your hand.”
“Hmm…what should I do…”
“Don’t over think it. You can just follow my lead.”
I was simply wondering what I should do to make this guy suffer the most, but he took it the completely wrong way.
“I’d appreciate it if you let go of my hand.”
They say everyone deserves a chance. So, I decided to give him one as well. But on the inside, I admittedly prayed that he wouldn’t. That would give me the excuse to punch him in the face. Unfortunately, he really did let go.
“Sure. You’re probably still nervous,” he said.
I inwardly pouted.
‘Darn! I lost my chance!’
Consider yourself lucky, you bastard.
“Should we go get something? Are you hungry?”
“You buying?”
“Of course I’m buying. I have way too much money. I need to spend it somewhere anyway. You can get as much food as you want.”
“Really?”
Rich people really do think differently. But just then, the writer came and handed us a mission card with our quest on it. Kyun took it.
“Do we have to do this?” Kyun said, glancing at the card. He looked rather annoyed.
“Yes. It’s part of the show so…” the writer said, sounding quite hesitant. I couldn’t blame her for sounding scared. Kyun Park was a top celebrity, after all.
I plucked the card out of Kyun’s card and read it myself. It read:
[Pick out a wedding dress for Sian!]
I stared at the writer. All of a sudden, the writer began to tremble. I had unknowingly projected some of my murderous wrath onto her.
“Who comes up with this stuff?” I asked quietly. I didn’t bother to draw back my wrath.
“Uh…well…that…Ms. Yoo…”
“Ms. Yoo?”
I turned to stare at Ms. Yoo. She was chatting and laughing with the show producer, having no idea what she just did. Just then, Kyun spoke up.
“Fine. Let’s go pick out a dress. I’ll get you the prettiest one.”
“Shut up,” I snapped without thinking. Kyun drew back in shock.
I turned back to the writer.
“Aren’t we just pretending to date here?”
That’s the title of the show, isn’t it? ‘We Dated.’ So what’s with the wedding dress?
“Well, normally, that would be a yes. But then, we thought that it’d be more interesting if you two were an engaged couple…”
“What?”
This little…
“Oh, you didn’t know? We mentioned it to Mr. Park yesterday…”
“Yesterday?”
I swear, this man loves to test me. How could the show concept change at the last minute?
Well, there was no point in crying over spilled milk…
“Hey, Sian,” Kyun said to me.
“What?”
“You’re kind of scary when you talk.”
“Yeah.”
“I like it.”
“What?”
“No girl has ever dared to talk to me that way.”
“What the hell?”
Was this guy asking to be killed?
“See. That attitude. And that spirit in your eyes! No girl has ever treated me this way. It’s actually kind of cool!”
‘This guy is insane.’
Since I couldn’t criticize him out loud, I did it on the inside.
“Let’s go. I really like you, Sian! I’ll get the best dress there is!”
And with that, Kyun took my hand. The camera stayed on us the whole time. I was sorely tempted to break the guy’s hand, but I resisted.
***
“Um…well…none of these are really…”
I was trying on dresses one by one. This was undoubtedly the worst day of my life.
“Wow, Ms. Sian, you’re so pretty,” the saleslady helping me said.
Yeah, I mean, even I have to say that I look pretty. But still…ugh. I would’ve loved to just rip these dresses off.
“Here. You need to put these heels on as well.”
“Sigh…”
I put on the heels. I do admit they did make me look slimmer and sexier.
“Wow. You look amazing. You fill it out so nicely.”
The saleslady looked at me as though she’d never seen anything so beautiful before.
“Thank you.”
Hey, she complimented me, so I should thank her. And you know, it felt kind of nice. The old me would’ve been pissed to hear such a thing. Maybe I’ve mellowed out…or maybe my soul was giving into the feminine side. The thought of that suddenly freaked me out.
“Should we show the groom-to-be?” the saleslady said, looking excited.
“Groom-to-be?”
“The handsome man waiting outside the dressing room.”
“….”
Ugh, what do I do? Dear Lord. What should I do? No, wait. God is the reason I’m in this mess! Oy! God! Come down here and fight me!
Anyways, I pushed the curtain aside and stepped out of the dressing room towards Kyun. Kyun stared back at me as a wide smile spread over his face. Guess I really was that beautiful.
“Wow…”
He slowly stood up and walked towards me as if he’d been cast under a spell. Suddenly, he gave me a hug.
‘Two strikes, you bastard.’
Just one more strike. Just one more and I’d let him have it. No holding back this time.
“Wow, Sian, you look amazing,” Kyun said. Then, he gave me another hug. Then…all of a sudden, he tilted his head and moved in to kiss me.
***
Luckily, I managed to block his lips before they touched mine. So, he ended up kissing my hand. The staff members all gasped in shock at Kyun’s bold move.
“Sian, it’s no fun if you block me. This is a perfect moment. If you reject me, it will just ruin it,” Kyun said with a smile. He leaned in to try and kiss me again. I pinched his lips hard in response.
“Ow!” the guy screamed out in pain.
I leaned in and whispered, “Let’s take this to the bathroom.”
Kyun’s face lit up at that. He gave an eager nod while I asked the staff for a bathroom break.
I headed into the girls’ bathroom. Kyun followed, pretending to go to the men’s room before hurrying over to the girl’s bathroom. He immediately pushed me against the wall and moved in to kiss me again. I reached up and gave his lips another pinch.
“Someone’s in a hurry.”
“Can you blame me? I doubt anyone could hold back after looking at you.”
And just then, this bastard reached up to grab my boobs, so I immediately proceeded to slap his lips with my hand.
Slap! Slap! Slap! Slap!
“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!”
Kyun stumbled backwards, trying to push my hands away. I stealthily avoided his hands while continuing to slap his mouth. I then reached down and grabbed his ankle, causing him to fall hard on his butt. I heard the distinct sound of his pants splitting as he went down. I approached him slowly, the high heels clicking on the bathroom tiles. The guy began to shout at me, asking me what my problem was. In reply, I gave him a straight kick to his head.
Pow!”
“Ah!”
He went down again as I began to step on him with my heels.
Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab!
No one was watching or listening. In other words, that meant that there was no one to stop me as I stomped on him.
Five minutes passed since then. Where is the guy?
“Why isn’t he coming?” I asked the VJ. The VJ just stared at me in response.
“Call him,” I said.
“Oh, right.”
The VJ took out his phone and made a phone call.
“Hello? Yes. Yes. Ah. Right. Yes, yes. Okay. Thank you!”
And with that, the VJ hung up. He turned to me and said.
“He’s pooping.”
“Oh, really?”
Couldn’t he have gone in advance? Didn’t even think about the people waiting for them. If I’m like this only after five minutes…
“Should I go to the bathroom as well?”
“W-what…?” the VJ looked at me, a bit shocked.
“What?”
“You’re very straightforward…”
“….”
All I did was ask if I should go to the bathroom. Well, whatever. I decided to just wait. Ugh, I’m so hungry. I still didn’t know what the quest would be, but I needed to get some food.
After about 30 minutes? I was really pissed. What kind of bathroom break takes 30 minutes? Honestly, if this were any other day, I wouldn’t care. But I’m here, waiting for this guy. And on top of that, he takes 30 minutes to go to the bathroom? How could anyone be so rude?
“Ugh, seriously. Tell him to hurry up before I go there to shove it up his ass,” I spat out in fury. The audio director looked up in shock. And so did the VJ. What? Was this too straightforward as well?
“O-oh, right…hang on.”
The VJ made another phone call.
“Hello? Yes, hi…yes…yes…oh…that…well, I don’t know if that’s possible…he really should get here quickly…yes…oh…that’s…well, I’m not sure that’s…yes…yes….sigh…yes…okay, thank you.”
By the time the VJ hung up, he didn’t look too happy himself.
“What now?” I snapped. What? Could you blame me for being pissed at this point?
“Well…he wants to be sneaky…something about how it wouldn’t be so fun if he just came in all of a sudden…and whatever…and a whole bunch of other stuff…something about how he’s on a different level…”
“This bastard,” I unknowingly spat out. I wanted nothing more than to go find the guy and snap his legs off, but somehow, I managed to restrain myself.
“Call him and tell him to hurry the fuck up.”
“Oh…well…that…” The VJ could not help but hesitate. This is why balls are important.
“I guess you can’t.”
“Yeah…I just got cursed out over the phone…”
“Ugh.”
I sighed. Still, what else could the VJ do? It’s that Kyun guy. He’s the real issue.
“Um…but, Sian…”
“Yeah?”
“I had no idea you were this good at cursing…”
“Oh, sorry. I know it’s a little excessive, but can you really blame me?” I said with a sweet smile.
Honestly, this guy should be glad I’m not running off and planning bloody murder.
“Yeah…I guess.”
And that’s when it happened. Way off in the distance, I saw a guy in a black jacket and white T-shirt approaching us. The guy was walking slowly with both hands in his pocket, looking up at the sky. Was he the guy? Soon, he was standing in front of me and gave me a slight bow.
“Hello, Sian. I’m Kyun Park, the main vocalist from the popular group Cowboy. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh. Hi,” I said back with a slight bow of my own. We both stared at each other. This jerk. He had the most feminist looking face I’ve ever seen. The kind you’d just want to punch. Anyways, judging by the look on his face, he seemed to like me. He kept scanning me up and down with a pleased smile on his face.
“It’s really an honor to meet you,” the asshole said, sticking out his hand. I shook it. He immediately began to caress it.
“You have pretty hands.”
“We’re filming.”
“They’ll edit this out. Besides, I’m just holding it. I’m sure you’re happy that someone as good looking as me is holding your hand.”
“Hmm…what should I do…”
“Don’t over think it. You can just follow my lead.”
I was simply wondering what I should do to make this guy suffer the most, but he took it the completely wrong way.
“I’d appreciate it if you let go of my hand.”
They say everyone deserves a chance. So, I decided to give him one as well. But on the inside, I admittedly prayed that he wouldn’t. That would give me the excuse to punch him in the face. Unfortunately, he really did let go.
“Sure. You’re probably still nervous,” he said.
I inwardly pouted.
‘Darn! I lost my chance!’
Consider yourself lucky, you bastard.
“Should we go get something? Are you hungry?”
“You buying?”
“Of course I’m buying. I have way too much money. I need to spend it somewhere anyway. You can get as much food as you want.”
“Really?”
Rich people really do think differently. But just then, the writer came and handed us a mission card with our quest on it. Kyun took it.
“Do we have to do this?” Kyun said, glancing at the card. He looked rather annoyed.
“Yes. It’s part of the show so…” the writer said, sounding quite hesitant. I couldn’t blame her for sounding scared. Kyun Park was a top celebrity, after all.
I plucked the card out of Kyun’s card and read it myself. It read:
[Pick out a wedding dress for Sian!]
I stared at the writer. All of a sudden, the writer began to tremble. I had unknowingly projected some of my murderous wrath onto her.
“Who comes up with this stuff?” I asked quietly. I didn’t bother to draw back my wrath.
“Uh…well…that…Ms. Yoo…”
“Ms. Yoo?”
I turned to stare at Ms. Yoo. She was chatting and laughing with the show producer, having no idea what she just did. Just then, Kyun spoke up.
“Fine. Let’s go pick out a dress. I’ll get you the prettiest one.”
“Shut up,” I snapped without thinking. Kyun drew back in shock.
I turned back to the writer.
“Aren’t we just pretending to date here?”
That’s the title of the show, isn’t it? ‘We Dated.’ So what’s with the wedding dress?
“Well, normally, that would be a yes. But then, we thought that it’d be more interesting if you two were an engaged couple…”
“What?”
This little…
“Oh, you didn’t know? We mentioned it to Mr. Park yesterday…”
“Yesterday?”
I swear, this man loves to test me. How could the show concept change at the last minute?
Well, there was no point in crying over spilled milk…
“Hey, Sian,” Kyun said to me.
“What?”
“You’re kind of scary when you talk.”
“Yeah.”
“I like it.”
“What?”
“No girl has ever dared to talk to me that way.”
“What the hell?”
Was this guy asking to be killed?
“See. That attitude. And that spirit in your eyes! No girl has ever treated me this way. It’s actually kind of cool!”
‘This guy is insane.’
Since I couldn’t criticize him out loud, I did it on the inside.
“Let’s go. I really like you, Sian! I’ll get the best dress there is!”
And with that, Kyun took my hand. The camera stayed on us the whole time. I was sorely tempted to break the guy’s hand, but I resisted.
***
“Um…well…none of these are really…”
I was trying on dresses one by one. This was undoubtedly the worst day of my life.
“Wow, Ms. Sian, you’re so pretty,” the saleslady helping me said.
Yeah, I mean, even I have to say that I look pretty. But still…ugh. I would’ve loved to just rip these dresses off.
“Here. You need to put these heels on as well.”
“Sigh…”
I put on the heels. I do admit they did make me look slimmer and sexier.
“Wow. You look amazing. You fill it out so nicely.”
The saleslady looked at me as though she’d never seen anything so beautiful before.
“Thank you.”
Hey, she complimented me, so I should thank her. And you know, it felt kind of nice. The old me would’ve been pissed to hear such a thing. Maybe I’ve mellowed out…or maybe my soul was giving into the feminine side. The thought of that suddenly freaked me out.
“Should we show the groom-to-be?” the saleslady said, looking excited.
“Groom-to-be?”
“The handsome man waiting outside the dressing room.”
“….”
Ugh, what do I do? Dear Lord. What should I do? No, wait. God is the reason I’m in this mess! Oy! God! Come down here and fight me!
Anyways, I pushed the curtain aside and stepped out of the dressing room towards Kyun. Kyun stared back at me as a wide smile spread over his face. Guess I really was that beautiful.
“Wow…”
He slowly stood up and walked towards me as if he’d been cast under a spell. Suddenly, he gave me a hug.
‘Two strikes, you bastard.’
Just one more strike. Just one more and I’d let him have it. No holding back this time.
“Wow, Sian, you look amazing,” Kyun said. Then, he gave me another hug. Then…all of a sudden, he tilted his head and moved in to kiss me.
***
Luckily, I managed to block his lips before they touched mine. So, he ended up kissing my hand. The staff members all gasped in shock at Kyun’s bold move.
“Sian, it’s no fun if you block me. This is a perfect moment. If you reject me, it will just ruin it,” Kyun said with a smile. He leaned in to try and kiss me again. I pinched his lips hard in response.
“Ow!” the guy screamed out in pain.
I leaned in and whispered, “Let’s take this to the bathroom.”
Kyun’s face lit up at that. He gave an eager nod while I asked the staff for a bathroom break.
I headed into the girls’ bathroom. Kyun followed, pretending to go to the men’s room before hurrying over to the girl’s bathroom. He immediately pushed me against the wall and moved in to kiss me again. I reached up and gave his lips another pinch.
“Someone’s in a hurry.”
“Can you blame me? I doubt anyone could hold back after looking at you.”
And just then, this bastard reached up to grab my boobs, so I immediately proceeded to slap his lips with my hand.
Slap! Slap! Slap! Slap!
“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!”
Kyun stumbled backwards, trying to push my hands away. I stealthily avoided his hands while continuing to slap his mouth. I then reached down and grabbed his ankle, causing him to fall hard on his butt. I heard the distinct sound of his pants splitting as he went down. I approached him slowly, the high heels clicking on the bathroom tiles. The guy began to shout at me, asking me what my problem was. In reply, I gave him a straight kick to his head.
Pow!”
“Ah!”
He went down again as I began to step on him with my heels.
Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab!
No one was watching or listening. In other words, that meant that there was no one to stop me as I stomped on him.